I am starting a bold new mission. I am in the process of setting up a store on WAHMania! I just have to think up a name for my store and then I can start putting stuff on there. How exctiting and scary is that?

I have also booked a stall at our local monthly market. It is mainly inside and I have an inside stall so no worries about the weather other than if people will come when its raining. I have a month to prepare so I should have no worries about amassing enough stock. I just have to make an effort to complete some unfinished stuff.

So I have really taken steps to my craft becoming a bit of extra cash for me. I love to knit and to sew so hopefully I can combine my love with making a bit of extra cash.

Wow another term over and one lot of school holidays over. I can't believe the time has flown so quickly.

Oscar turns two on May 20th! I still remember my first glimpse of him and crying tears of joy that he could breathe and that he was going to be ok. He was born at 36 weeks and spent 5 long days in the special care nursery. Two of those days he was in a humidicrib with concetrated heat and air. I couldn't touch him or pick him up whenever I liked.

Pete took a video of him within his first hour of life so I could see him as I couldn't get out of bed due to having a caesar. I watch it frequently especially when I need a reminder of how fragile life is and how much I have to be grateful for. Two years on it never fails to make me cry. Hearing the grunts as he struggles to breath will be a sound I never forget.

We had 5 miscarriages while trying to conceive Oscar. I bled right the way through Oscar pregnancy and spent most of it on bed rest. I nearly had him prematurely so many times. Oscar was a baby that was determined to make it. He was determined to meet us.

When I look at him and realise how much he has changed me and my families lives I know he was meant to come. It couldn't have been anyone else. Oscar is definetly the child who has taught me the most and I have grown the most after having him.

He is a joy. He is refreshing. He reminds me of an angel or a cherub. He amazes me constantly. His determination and persistence allow him to learn and to excel at whatever he chooses to do. Somedays I feel like he is 2 going on 5.

He is intelligent, persistent, determined. These are the qualities that challenge me the most but the ones I also realise that are mine. He has so much of me in his personality.

I find that personally I enjoy 2 years and up more than any time. I am looking forward to the independence and the conversations:) But I really want to put a hold on Oscar. He has grown up way too quickly for me. I want to hold onto this babyhood.

I know Oscar will be my last child. I can't stand to go through the miscarriages and the devestation again. I can't stand to go through the special care nursery and the struggling to breathe again. Its sad for me though to accept this will be my last child. That from now on my life moves to a different level a different stage which doesnt involve a cherubic baby.

Thomas has really moved on to the next stage too. I always worry about him so much. It was confirmed that he had glandular fever for most of 2006. It certainly explains the vomiting, diahorrea, legs aching, tummy aches, headaches, rashes, loss of weight, tired ness and tantrums. But he really still hasn't recovered. The paed has explained to me that his immune system is quite low and it may take quite a while for it to get back to normal. So until then every cold, gastro or virus illness is going to make him really badly sick. Last week he caught a cold and it turned into a chest and ear infection in only 2 days. He lost weight and it is still lingering on.

The autism gets so much worse when he is sick. The meltdowns increase and it gets so much harder to get through to him. Luckily his mummy is a normal point in his life and he finds he can come to me for calming down. I am so glad I can help him in that way.

we had parent interviews the other day and he is doing ok. He is happy there which is great and participating in the activities. He is way behind with his writing and drawing. he finds it very hard to muster the strength to hold the pencil and to make a mark. He is great at maths apparantly apart from the writing down of the numbers. He likes to participate but often find the need for his own space.

The teachers are wonderful. There is one that is the main prep teacher and then there is another that does PE, maths and science. Both are great teachers and without them I really don't think that Thomas would be so happy and comfortable. The prep class also has two regular aides that stay in the classroom. So Thomas gets a lot of extra help.

He seems to have made friends lots actually as it is an especially close prep class. He has one special friend who is just lovely. Perfect for Thomas and they really stick together. He treats Thomas with such respect and obviously respects the fact that Thomas can be a bit odd sometimes.

They want him to have speech pathology which I guess is a shock for me. Apparently he is struggling to voice his opinions and ideas in class. He finds it hard to describe things. He finds it hard to understand instructions and follow through. Gramatically it is fine just the comprehension and the getting the words out. This is all part of autism but I really thought it was his strong point. He could always pronounce words perfectly. I have noticed he finds it hard to get words out and he doesn't talk much but I can recall some great conversations we have had too.

I guess I have been guilty of trying to convince myself it is normal 6 year old behaviour and he will just grow out of it. Brushing it off as "its not so bad" Sometimes I try to convince myself that he isn't autistic and that all the professionals have got it wrong. But when I see the massive developments Oscar has made and how he has passed Thomas in some areas of development I just can't deny the fact that he has problems. I can't deny the fact that rain or a shower feels like needles to Thomas or the fact that eating green foods make him physically sick. I can't deny the fact I have to give him instructions over and over again till he does the thing then do it all over again in two minutes for something different. I can't pretend that Thomas doesn't take a major amount of effort and guidance in everything he does. A lot of the time Oscar takes less effort to control and help than Thomas does. Its really hard and really draining.

My greatest fear is that Thomas will be kept down this year. I know its a possibility and its scary. The teachers haven't said anything but I know he is far behind the others. I just get the feeling it is a possibility.

The good thing about school is Thomas loves and thrives on the routine. He thrives on knowing everything has its time and place. He loves sitting next to the same people and playing the same things at play time. He loves the mental challenge and the fun they have. He really enjoys school which is a major positive.

I have finally decided not to part with my favourite fabrics and instead make something fabulous out of them. I am addicted to blues and greens lately and paisleys. Most of the fabrics have some combination of them. I have decided to make some kind of patchwork quilt/rug thing for our house. Something that looks a bit vintage, a bit shabby chic and for snuggling up under watching movies in the winter. In the first picture I have two vintage sheets there one is the blue diamond shapes and the green floral. There is some soft thick chenille fabric and a green striped tablecloth.

In the second picture I have a green/white paisley. one of my absolute favourites unfortunatly vintage so its hard to come across. Must use every scrap for something! A blue/white roses quilting fabric A green fabric with small paisley. A blue, green and white floral vintage Sheridan sheet. Blue thin cord. And an ancient white pillowcase with gorgeous mini blue flowers on it.

I also have a green fabric with white spots and a white fabric to add to the mix. I can't wait to start playing around with the layout of them all and start sewing them together!

I also had a go at dying some wool. I have dyed a few balls before but I think this is by far my best effort so far. I didn't like it while I was doing it but once I balled it up it grew on me. Now I love it. Very boyish I think. I uses Dylon dyes with a smidge of red food colouring. I used blue and yellow and let the colours soak up and meet each other. Then I put a bit of red food dye in the middle to make a bit of purple and deeped the yellow into orange. My only question is how do people get it twisted so it looks all neat and lovely before they ball it. I suck at that bit lol.

I have also made a few more bags. This is one of my favourites using a green/white vintage paisley material. I used a vintage gold/white material on the inside and I love the way it looks. I so want to keep it but I also want someone to buy it that will appreciate it as much as me.

Been doing some crafty stuff lately. I have made myself a goal and decided to prepare for a market in a month. I have been so much more dedicated since I made the goal.

Have been making some funky kids pants and appliqued Tshirts lately. Here is Oscar modelling some rainbow ones. I love the rainbow colours. I plan to make a few more to sell as I think they have worked out really well. The pants are a vintage 1960s pattern. I really like them because instead of being straight legged they have a bit of a flare at the bottom. In the pic on the pattern they have creases down the front lol but I thought I would pass on the creases heheh.

I also tried making a softie bunny and here is the result. One side is green polar fleece so its very cuddly. The other side is a vintage floral cotton. I got the floral fabric as a scrap from the op shop and I love it. It brings back memories of the dresses mum used to make us when we were kids.

Today I managed to lock Oscar (22months) in the car. Well actually he managed to lock himself in the car. I strapped Oscar in the car seat and he grabbed my keys. I wasn't thinking and let him have them and shut the door. I went to put the pram away and groceries and shut the boot.

Went to open the door of the car and went "oh no!" He had pressed the lock button. Our car is a modern car so there was no way of getting in. I was telling Oscar to press the button but he was shaking his head and saying "no mummy". Then he dropped them on the floor lol. It was getting quite warm in the car so I was really worried.

There was a nice old man watching and he offered to ring RACV for me. Was just about to do so when Oscar did his new trick for me. He wound the window down !! But just a little bit to tease me lol. I encouraged him and encouraged him till I could get my hand in and reach the keys. That trick I have been trying to discourage for so long actually came in handy. Funny how the tables can turn.

Thanks to the nice man for all his encouragement and advice. I think I would have just freaked out if he wasn't there calming me down. Thanks to Oscar being so smart and managing to get himself out of a trick situation. I love you babe.

Today I found out that a person who I admired very much had lost his battle with cancer. Shortly after oscar was born he started waking up every 15 minutes and battling with reflux. A friend reccomended Chiro Kids which is a baby and kids chiropractic group. I made an appointment and turned up to meet a lovely chiropracter Adam.
Since then he has seen me, Oscar and Thomas and fixed all of our problems. One of us has been in there weekly since Oscar was born. At first I was sceptical but Adam managed to solve all kinds of problems like reflux, migraines, Oscar not rolling over, Thomas concentration, sleep problems. It was amazing what he could do.
Over the time Adam and I became friends and our appointments began to be lovely discussions and catchups. He told me a lot about his life in South Africa previously and his kids. I confided in him about my fears about Thomas autism, how he would cope with school and my hopes and dreams for me and my kids in the future.
He was one of those people that will go out of their way just to help. He would always make time to see me and the children and never minded if the kids played with his stuff. My children would light up at the sight of his happy smiling face. He gently encouraged me to take more time for my self and to rest more. He was never judgemental just supportive.
One morning I had an appointment and he wasnt there. There was someone filling in for him. He never came back to work. I found out this was because he had been diagnosed with colon cancer and there was no treatment options. It was a big suprise to hear one day he was suddenly told that the cancer was spread right through his body and he had 3 months to live. He passed away yesterday morning after he detiorated quickly.

Goodbye Adam. I hope you realise how good a person you were and how many lives you touched.You will be sadly missed. May you rest in peace.

I did a bit of op shopping today and found some really cool fabrics and a huge bundle of bamboo knitting needles in all different sizes. The nice op shop guy thought the original price was a bit steep so he reduced it for me. Lovely boy think I will have to go when he is there next time!

There was a bright yellow retro tablecloth, a white with blue and green paisley fabric and a purple and green fabric. Would love to make a pair of funky kids pants with the yellow material the rest I don't know yet. I love getting fabric from the op shop it is so much cheaper and more unique. It means that a project out of the material is thought of with a particular material in mind. The different colours and textures are so inspiring.

I also got a package in the mail! The silly parcel man won't drive down our driveway to deliver the parcels because it is dirt road for 500m lol so he just leaves the card in the letterbox which is at the end of the gravel. Quite annoying because I cant see him coming and know I have exciting stuff on the way.

Anyway I did get it in the end and it was a package from The Knittery. I now have some lovely wool in a sea blue green mix and an earthy green, blue , red mix. Its so soft I can't wait to start knitting with it. Just have to decide what to do with it. Will definetly be for Oscar this winter though. How bad am I buying wool before I know what I want to do with it. Definetly an impulse buy lol.

Also in my Knittery parcel was a book called One Skein by Leigh Radford. It is 30 projects to knit and crochet using only one skein. Great to use up some stash I have. What does one skein equate to in grams I wonder? If anyone knows I would love to know. There is a funky cardigan in there that I would love to try for Oscar.

And here are two other pictures. You will have to look at them sideways because I can't work out to turn them. Guess I had to do it before I uploaded them? Anyway one is of Oscar monkey wearing a beanie i knitted in chunky wool. The second is a pair of funky rainbow pants I made for him.